..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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