white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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