You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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