Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just pee around me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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