Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
