u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
