we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
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