tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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