Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i wish my penis had a tongue
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
