I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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