But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
