I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
