We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
