she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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