There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
