I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
