I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
All the doctor said was why
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
