She's JV to your varsity
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
