mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
