i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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