who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
