Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she smelled like a LAN party
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
