he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
