I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
