I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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