The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
