I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There r osticjed everywhere
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
