i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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