Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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