He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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