im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
