just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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