Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I need moral support for this bender
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
