Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
