Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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