Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
