I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
