I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
