And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
