Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
