Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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