Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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