i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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