Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
