i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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