I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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