The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
