Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
