dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
