I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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