I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
