I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
