trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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